The one with Jen’s “hilarious” joke</strong>

26 February 2020 (day 85)

The plane lands in Denpasar airport and, although the exact same plane and many of its passengers will continue on to Auckland, we all have to disembark for a short period while the plane refuels.

There’s assistance waiting for Sara to help her off and back onto the plane, and we’re taken through the gate and round to security where they scan everything we’ve brought off the plane before we can put it back on again. The water bottles we bought in Dubai airport are still full, and annoyingly security tell us we can’t take them back onto the plane with us, even although we’ve had an airport escort with us since leaving the plane who can vouch for the bottles being untouched since then. More bizarrely though, when security realise one of the bottles is Sara’s and she’s being pushed in a wheelchair, they tell her she can keep hers but reconfirm that I have to leave mine behind. I’m holding both bottles and they’re identical so I arbitrarily pick one as “Sara’s” and toss “mine”. Bizarre decision from Indonesian security but at least we still have 1L of water between us for the next flight.

Back on the plane again and we finally encounter a genuinely helpful Emirates steward who checks the manifest and arranges for us to have a full row of four seats so that Sara can put her leg up for the flight. The flight passes without incident with us both asleep for the most part, and we’re woken for a bland airline breakfast shortly before landing in Auckland at around 6am.

27 February 2020 (day 86)

We’re once again met off the plane by airport assistance with a wheelchair for Sara. This time though, for the first time, we get to ride on one of the electric passenger vehicles through the airport which is very fun in our slightly overtired state. Our bags arrive and we take them to the biohazard screening desk to be checked. Will our day of scrubbing before we left Cape Town be enough to avoid our camping equipment and shoes being confiscated? Time to find out.

We wait with bated breath as everything is checked and breathe a sigh of relief when we’re given the all clear to proceed. Top stuff! Another incoming passenger across from us is not so lucky and has her tent taken from her for failing the biohazard tests.

We hang out briefly in the arrivals area with a coffee and donought before getting an Uber to our hostel, Queen Street Backpackers, right in the heart of Auckland.

We needed a pick-me-up…Dunkin’ Donuts to the rescue

Having booked all of our accommodation before we left the UK and envisaging that we’d both be fully mobile for New Zealand, we find that the hostel is up a flight of stairs, and on check in we further establish that our room is up another flight. In total, this means 46 stairs for me to carry all of our stuff up and for Sara to bumshuffle each time we come in or go out.

Sara’s leg is feeling pretty tired after all the travelling so she hangs out in the hostel while I go in search of a late breakfast / early lunch, or “brunch” as I like to call it (note to self: see if you can get your brand new word “brunch” to catch on). A smoothie and salad each later, we decide to go to pick up a few things for our time in New Zealand including a couple of pillows for Sara’s leg.

An Uber takes us to Westfield Newmarket where the information desk has not just wheelchairs but mobility scooters available for use. They ask me which Sara would prefer and it’s a pretty obvious decision. A couple of minutes later, Sara is scooting up and down the mall like a baller.

Naturally we both took the new wheels for a spin — Naturally we **both** took the new wheels for a spin

As well as the pillows and a few other bits and bobs, I’ve been wanting to get an iPad and after researching while in Africa had found that, surprisingly, they’re cheaper in New Zealand than South Africa, Namibia, and UAE. Better yet, in the mall there’s a shop selling imported Apple products direct from America, still in sealed packaging and under full Apple warranty, but for nearly £80 less than the standard NZ price for the latest iPad Air. It’s a total win, and we head back to the hostel a short time later with our brand shiny new iPad ready to be set up for the rest of our travel adventure.

For dinner, I pick us up a couple of slices each from Sal’s Authentic New York Pizza to eat in the hostel along with a couple of “happy all day” $3 beers from the hostel bar, and we pass the evening playing Skip-Bo which amazingly the hostel has in its games section.

NZ beer, cards, and iPad setup - we’re so rock ‘n’ roll

28 February 2020 (day 87)

Surprisingly we both sleep well and wake with no apparent signs of jet lag. I assume it’ll hit later, given how long it usually takes us both to adjust to a smaller time difference when we go to the US.

The original plan for yesterday had been to see Auckland and climb a couple of the hills / small volcanoes around the city to blow away the cobwebs, and then today to go to Waiheke Island for some wine tastings. As with the last few weeks in Africa though, things are going to have to change for our New Zealand trip because of Sara’s leg injury, and we debate whether to do a hop-on hop-off (hop-on / stay-on) bus around Auckland to see the city, go over to Waiheke Island, or do something entirely different instead.

It feels like local advice would probably be helpful in case there are accessible activities we’re not aware of so we get an Uber down to the i-Site, New Zealand’s tourist information service, by the marina. We get there and meet an extremely helpful man who tells us about a variety of different accessible activities around the North Island. For today though we decide on Waiheke Island and buy our tickets for the ferry and island hop-on hop-off bus when we get there.

I collect Sara with the wheelchair from the Waiheke ferry company, Fullers, and we board the boat. The wheelchair needs to be left behind (Sara’s pleased by this as it’s the most uncomfortable chair she’s ever sat in), so I ask the captain if it’s possible to arrange a wheelchair for our arrival in Waiheke and he agrees to do so.

The boat leaves the harbour and makes the crossing to Waiheke Island with a brief stop at Davenport for some passengers to get on / off. It’s a glorious day and wonderful to be out on the water again. When we arrive on Waiheke, there’s a wheelchair ready and waiting for Sara as promised. I find a member of staff to see if it’s at all possible for us to keep the chair while we’re on the island, not expecting the answer to be yes, but after a brief consultation they agree that it’s fine for us to keep it for the afternoon to help Sara get around, which is a massive help.

We find the bus and hop on for the 10ish minute ride to Oneroa where we get off for some lunch. The guide on the bus recommended The Local to us for some of the best fish and chips around so we head there. There are some steps down to the cafe so Sara bumshuffles and I lug the chair down, only when we get there we find that it’s takeaway only due to ongoing refurbishment. There is however one table outside in the shade with no view, and rather than faffing around trying to find somewhere else to eat we decide just to eat here. In the brief moment of deciding what to do, however, two other people have arrived and nabbed the table, so I take a couple of the stools to form a makeshift table at which Sara sits in her wheelchair while I perch on a wooden bench.

The fish and chips are really good, but the best part of the meal is our decision to try L&P, New Zealand’s soft drink, which is essentially lemonade but somehow tastes a little different, more lemony, than the international brands. I like.

Gotta love a drink with a sense of humour!

There’s a gelato stand just over the road from The Local, and I go over to pick up some dessert for us before we hop back onto the tour bus to see the island. Sara has Blueberry Mascarpone & Ginger Crumble ice cream while I go for the Whisky Chocolate Truffle. Nom.

The bus arrives and we settle on the upper deck for the trip around the island. Predictably, the island is very pretty and it’s a shame we’re not able to get on and off more to explore and enjoy the vineyards and beaches. By my reckoning, we have time for one or maybe two stops total if we want to make the final tour bus back to the ferry, and based on the tour guide’s advice it seems that The Batch Winery is probably a good shout as it does cellar door tastings and apparently has some of the best views so we plump for that.

As far as views go, The Batch Winery is a great choice. It’s a beautiful day and our table has a clear view across the bay of the Auckland skyline. As wines go though we’re completely unfussed. Perhaps it’s that we’ve been spoiled by the excellent wines and tour less than two weeks ago in Stellenbosch, but these wines do absolutely nothing for either of us (Sara actively hates one of them) and it’s a bit of a disappointment in all honesty. Taking the views and scenery out of the picture for a moment, the highlight of our visit to the vineyard is when Sara enjoyably goes “Red Riley” at the table next to us for starting to play videos / music from their phones (“Turn that off - this isn’t your living room, you’re in a restaurant!”).

Turns out the thumbs up were premature. Actual review of the wine = 👎👎

Back on the bus, we complete the route around the island and get off again in Oneroa to go to the Waiheke Wine Centre. The Wine Centre has the largest collection of Waiheke wines in the world (not surprising) and many of them available to try. There’s also a free tasting going on for one of the vineyards and it seems rude to say no, but as before we’re a bit underwhelmed by the wines. The theme continues when we go to the paid-for area and try a couple of the other Waiheke wines. It’s becoming pretty clear that this region’s wines just aren’t to either of our palates. The wine tasting machines are at least fun to operate.

Looks good, right? Looks can be deceiving.

The other big thing we’ve wanted to try on Waiheke Island are the Te Matuku oysters, which are apparently some of the most nutrient rich and tastiest oysters in this area. One of the stops on the bus tour was the Te Matuku Oyster Shop, but by the time we arrived there it had closed for the day. There is, however, a restaurant across the road from the Waiheke Wine Centre called The Oyster Inn which also sells them, so we take ourselves across to sample some. I’m not sure if it’s been clear from previous blog posts but I am a BIG fan of oysters, and these ones don’t disappoint. Namibian oysters are definitely still the best we’ve had to date on our travels, but these ones are fresh and delicious too and help to make up for the “meh” wine earlier in the day.

Thankfully the food on Waiheke Island saved the day

By the time we’ve finished our oysters, the last hop on / hop off bus has gone, but we’re not far from the harbour so get a taxi instead. Back on the boat, we sit on the top deck for the trip back across the bay and are treated to some pretty incredible views of the sunset behind the Auckland skyline as we approach.

Skyline by sunset - beautiful end to the day

Back to the hostel, we get everything packed up and ready to leave the next day before a makeshift dinner of nachos and a few hands of Skip-Bo and a pretty early night.

29 February 2020 (day 88)

Our alarm wakes us at 5.45am for an early breakfast before checking out. I sensibly bought us some avocados to smoosh and layer on top of the barely toasted white bread offered by the hostel for breakfast, so it’s a much more satisfying start to the day than we’ve had the past couple of mornings.

I lug all of our bags down all the stairs to street level and an Uber takes us to the car rental place out by the airport to collect our vehicle for our road trip around both the North and South Islands. The car is a white automatic RAV4 which is perfect apart from one issue: the windscreen wipers and indicators are on the opposite sides of the wheel than literally every car I’ve ever driven across multiple continents. Despite my best efforts over the coming days, almost every time I go to indicate, I instead wash the windscreen, and when I try to wash the windscreen I instead flash the car(s) in front of me. Excellent.

We hit the road and head south, driving past Auckland and on down State Highway 1 towards the Waitomo Glowworm Caves, stopping for a coffee at a service station en route. As we drive, we quickly find that the lush green land we were expecting is instead dry and yellow due to a long dry summer creating water shortages across the North Island. The hills and fields are still pretty, reminding me at times of various parts of the UK, but it’s very different than I’d been envisaging when planning our trip across the country.

Predictably, out comes Lumineers, the extremely-boring-sounding-but-actually-quite-fun-in-practice road game Sara made up on our Phoenix to Vancouver road trip in the summer of 2015 and which we’ve been playing on basically every trip since. How it works: if you spot a bale of hay, you wave both arms in a semi circle ending on the side of the road where you’ve spotted the hay while saying “heeyyy”; the other player(s) then verify that it is, in fact, hay and either (a) confirm by waving both arms in a semi circle in the opposite direction while saying “ho!” or (b) deny by saying “no” in a sad tone with no arm waving accompaniment. Yes, yes, it sounds dull but honestly when you’re driving through rural Idaho for hours with only fields and a handful of other vehicles to look at, that game becomes fun fast.

We make really good time and stop in a town called Otorohanga to pick up some staples for the next few weeks, plus today’s lunch, at a supermarket now that we have a car to carry things. From there, we drive on to the Ruakuri Reserve, home to the Ruakuri Glowworm Cave.

Our original booking for today had been the Black Abyss tour, a 5 hour long black water rafting adventure through the underground glowworm caves involving abseiling, zip lining, tubing and climbing up waterfalls. With Sara’s injury preventing this, I contacted the company while we were still in South Africa to find out whether any of the caves are wheelchair accessible (and if they’d have a wheelchair we could borrow) and rebooked us onto a tour of the Ruakuri Glowworm Cave.

It turns out that the Ruakuri Cave is one of only two accessible caves in the world, which makes us pretty lucky. I check us in and drive us down to the entrance of the cave where we wait for the group and tour guide to arrive. When they do, our guide gets Sara a wheelchair with brakes (which turn out to be absolutely essential for the next couple of hours) and then leads us through the entrance to the cave.

Entrance to Ruakuri Cave, “Den of the dogs”

Now, while they say the cave is wheelchair accessible and it is, what they failed to tell me in advance is that there’s a descent of 20m into the cave down spiral ramps, which of course means a total of 20m height I’ll need to push Sara back up again at the end. Once again, I’ll be getting my workout today.

I carefully roll Sara down and down until we reach the floor of the cavern and the guide begins to lead us through the caves, stopping to tell us various facts about the stalagmites and stalactites including that they grow at the rate of one fingernail‘s length in 100 years, so the huge ones around us are really quite old. There are other limestone rock formations around too, and the caves are lit in such a way as to highlight certain features, not all of which are easily captured on a photograph.

Deeper into the caves, we come to a stop in a new cavern. The guide turns off the lights in the cavern and suddenly we can see the glowworms on the walls and roof of the cavern all around us. We learn that the light we can see is actually just from the glowworm’s rear end due to localised secretions, and when the guide turns his torch on and finds a glowworm on the wall by us we can see how much larger the whole worm is than just the glowing part we saw in the dark. He also shows us the long strands of silk the glowworms trail to trap their prey in the darkness. They’re very cool, if slightly creepy. Sara and I agree we think glowbutts is a better name for the worms.

Glowworms!!! The colour in person was a super bright blue-green

Network of silk threads - the glowworm equivalent of a spider’s web

We continue through the caves, awed by the incredible rock formations all around as well as the glowbutts we see here and there along the way. Eventually we come to the underground river and have coincidentally timed it to be able to see the Black Abyss tour going past in their tubes. It definitely looks and sounds fun and it officially remains on the list for our next trip to New Zealand (as, I’m sure, will many things we’d originally booked to do this time but can’t any longer).

Eventually we find ourselves back at the entrance cavern and it’s time to push Sara back up the ramp. There are a few offers of help from other tourists in the group which I’m grateful for but I’m pleased, if surprised, to find that I’m able to get Sara all the way up without needing help. I am Jen - hear me roar (read gasp for breath)!

Back in the afternoon light, Sara and I compare thoughts and agree that the cave was really awesome and an excellent replacement for the Black Abyss tour.

After changing back out of the warmer layers we put on for the cave, we head back out on the road and north to Hamilton where we’re staying tonight. We arrive at Peachgrove Nooks to find absolutely nobody to greet us, and after a bit of uncertain investigation, I find there are instructions on my booking app to retrieve the key from a hidden locker and let ourselves in.

The room’s comfortable, albeit randomly (read badly) decorated, and it’s been a long day. I bring everything in from the car and promptly fall asleep (Sara too), waking about 90 minutes later slightly confused as to where we are and hungry. We both have a look to see what’s nearby and agree an Indian would be good so get an Uber to the best Indian restaurant in the area according to Tripadvisor. Our review, if we were writing one, would be “slow service and underwhelming food but better than no Indian at all”.

1 March 2020 (day 89)

We set off this morning on a pretty long drive day northwards. It may seem counterintuitive to have come south of Auckland only now to drive back through and on to the north, but one of the activities we’d originally booked (and now can’t do) had limited availability and the first available date I’d been able to book was 3 March, which forced a slightly inefficient trip to Waitomo earlier in the itinerary than I’d otherwise have scheduled it.

We drive from Hamilton up to Auckland, through the city and out the other side, crossing the Auckland harbour bridge on our journey towards the Northlands. The landscape becomes increasingly beautiful as we drive, with huge variety in the trees, shrubs, bushes, palms, ferns and other plants along the sides of the road and around us.

Away from the major cities, the roads are single lane and often wind sharply around the undulating landscape. We enter Waipoua Forest on state highway and find the road takes us through a gorge with such severe hairpin bends and changing camber angles that I, the driver, feel pretty travel sick despite driving at low speed.

Fortunately it’s not much further until we arrive at the car park for the very short walk to Tāne Mahuta, New Zealand’s largest known kauri tree. According to Maori mythology Tāne is the son of Ranginui the sky father and Papatuanuku the earth mother. Tāne was the child that tore his parents' primal embrace in order to bring light, space, and air and allow life to flourish. Legend states that Tāne is the life giver, all living creatures are his children.

Unfortunately the kauri population is being impacted by kauri dieback, a disease slowly killing off the trees through spread of contaminated soil. Before being allowed into the forest, there are decontamination stations to remove any soil remnants and disinfect footwear to avoid spreading the disease to more of the kauri trees. Sara, with moon boot and crutches, has a trickier time than most in trying to comply with the requirements.

Despite the path being just off the main road, as soon as we set off down the walkway all vehicle sounds fade quickly away. The walk to Tāne Mahuta should only take around 5 minutes but takes us closer to 15, which is no bad thing as it provides more time to take in the thick luscious forest. We round a corner and see the huge trunk of the magnificent tree rising high into the canopy above and it’s an impressive sight. There are benches and we sit to admire the massive tree from the viewing platform before continuing a short way further on the path around to a second viewing platform affording a view through the forest to Tāne Mahuta framed by green foliage.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s into the forest we go

Tāne’s trunk is 17.7m and 13.8m around. His total height is 51.5m and he’s a whopping 2000+ years old - (and to think we thought a 500 year old Baobab tree in Zambia was ancient!) — Tāne’s trunk is 17.7m and 13.8m around. His total height is 51.5m and he’s a whopping **2000+ years old** - (and to think we thought a 500 year old Baobab tree in Zambia was ancient!)

Eventually we head back to the car and back on the road towards our B&B for the night. As we drive, a message comes through on my phone from the B&B owner reminding us that it’s Sunday and nothing in the village will be open so to eat before we arrive. Grateful for the tip (having lost track of the days entirely), we stop and check up on our options to find they are extremely limited in this remote part of New Zealand. Essentially we can have a chippy or a pizza; that’s it. Neither sounds overly appealing but in lieu of anything else we opt for pizza.

We pull up outside the pizza place and place our order. The lady behind the counter asks if we’d like any sauces, and we decide to get a sweet chilli sauce for me and a ranch dressing for Sara. Any reasonable person would surely expect that these sauces would come on the side, in tubs, for dipping. We certainly expected this to be the case. Well reader, we were wrong. The pizza comes with both sauces drizzled over the toppings, ruining what was otherwise a distinctly average pizza.

Earlier in the day, as we were driving, I came up with a truly excellent joke about cows and their favourite chocolate bars and proceeded to erupt into giggles at my own hilarity periodically through the day. As we eat, Sara asks me to retell the joke on video for posterity. I maintain it’s very witty and enjoyable.

After disappointing pizza, we get back in the car and drive the last half hour to Rawene and arrive at Brockies B&B to find it’s a spare room in an elderly woman’s house. She’s very welcoming and friendly, and we agree it’s a lot like going to stay with your gran overnight!

2 March 2020 (day 90)

We’re up early for a breakfast comprising homemade muesli, jams and marmalades with bread supplied by our lovely host before heading to catch the ferry across the channel from Rawene to Kohukohu. There are only three cars on the ferry, and the crew blast 50s rock and roll music to entertain us (or themselves) for the short crossing.

We drive north and stop in Kaitaia to refuel, pick up various supplies for the next couple of days, and grab an early lunch before continuing onwards towards Cape Reinga, the northernmost point on the North Island. When we arrive, Sara decides she does feel up for attempting the walk out to the lighthouse on the northern tip and we slowly make our way the c.800m down winding walkways, which fortunately have benches for Sara to rest on along the way.

It takes a while for us to make the journey, but Sara’s spirits are lifted by the regular words of encouragement from other visitors: “You’re a trooper!”, “You’re one tough woman!” and one man tells Sara with a big smile as he passes heading back up the hill to the car park “I’ve seen lots of brave people today but you’re easily in the top two”. “Nah, she’s number one,” his wife corrects him, also smiling.

Eventually we reach the Cape Reinga lighthouse and the signpost showing some major world cities and their distances. According to the signpost, London is c.18,000km from us, which does put into perspective somewhat just how far the c.12,600km is that Steve drove us through Africa.

Cape Reinga, the northernmost point of New Zealand

Cape Reinga is also the point where the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean meet, the tides from the two bodies of water racing and crashing against each other in a display of oceanic awesomeness which rather disappointedly doesn’t at all come out in our photographs.

We slowly make our way back up the hill and arrive back at the car well and truly buffeted by the wind. Our next stop on our journey south again is 90 Mile Beach (which is actually only 88km long) just to see the huge expanse of beach in both directions. The sky and Tasman sea are pretty dramatic and lend themselves to some pretty nice photos. Aside from one other car, there’s nobody else there, and to all intents and purposes we have the beach to ourselves to enjoy.

A little further down the coast, we stop again briefly to see the huge sand dunes we’d intended to sand board but of course can’t, and then continue on to our accommodation for the night an hour’s drive further down the road at Top 10 Resorts Whatuwhiwhi (pronounced Fatufeefee, because “wh” in Maori sounds like an “f”).

In person the dunes are huge - those two tiny dots near the top are sandboarders

3 March 2020 (day 91)

After breakfast, we head back out on the road towards Paihia in the Bay of Islands. Half an hour later, however, we have to u-turn and reverse route due to a major traffic accident in Mangonui, adding just over an hour’s journey time to our drive.

We arrive at our hostel, Centabay Lodge, at lunchtime and check into our room before heading down to the wharf for our afternoon sea adventure around the Bay of Islands. We board the big yellow boat and find ourselves seats on the top deck, only to find we’ve managed to sit in front of some Chatty Cathys and Keiths who become annoying fast. Sara and I are both immensely relieved when they all get off the boat as we make a brief stop on one of the islands on our way out into the bay.

Shortly after setting out into the bay, one of the crew members kneels down beside Sara and quietly tells her that we’re coming up on some dolphins, and if Sara wants to see them we should head downstairs and to the front of the boat now before everyone else. Grateful for the advance notice, it’s an extremely perilous journey down the stairs and through the cabin, as the boat bobs and tips from side to side on the waves. Sara catches some pretty epic air during one particularly large wave and luckily manages to land on her one good foot without hurting the bad one.

The boat slows and we head outside to see a pod of bottlenose dolphins swimming under and around the boat. This is the closest up either of us has ever seen dolphins. I hadn’t expected to see them today nor known it was even a possibility, and it’s incredible them being such a short distance below us in the water. They spin and turn in the currents, rising to the surface for air before dipping just below again. Still more of them are playing in the water off to the right between us and another boat. It’s wonderful.

We’re now completely in love with bottlenose dolphins

Too soon we have to leave the dolphins behind and continue on our way past the islands and out of the bay towards Cape Brett with its lighthouse and then on to the Hole in the Rock. Unfortunately for us, the sea swells today are too high and we’re not able to pass through the Hole in the Rock itself, but we still get some pretty great views of the formation and the deep blue ocean below.

We continue a little further on to a cave which geologists have identified as another Hole in the Rock in the making. In the water around the cave are shoals of fish and plenty of seabirds waiting to scoff them at the first opportunity. The water is the deepest blue I’ve ever seen anywhere.

From there the boat takes us back into the Bay of Islands and drops us at Otehei Bay on Urupukapuka Island for a barbecue and chance to explore. Of course, with Sara’s limited mobility, exploring isn’t really a viable option for us, so after dinner we find a couple of understuffed bean bags and relax in the shade looking out on the peaceful bay.

Another hour or so later, the boat returns to collect us and return us to Paihia. On first approach to the island, the captain had advised us to look into the shallow waters around the island to see if we can spot anything, and moments after pulling away from the pier Sara and I spot a small ray in the water below us, which is very cool. Even better is maybe 10 minutes later when, looking back on the island in the boat’s wake, something large leaps out of the water, flipping in the air before falling back into the water. I ask one of the crew members and he tells me it was most likely a copper / bronze whaler shark. Eek! Sharks aren’t part of the Marine Big 5 but I’m counting it as an honorary member, at least worthy of a notable mention anyway.

After a brief stop at Russell (the first capital of New Zealand) to drop off / collect a few people, it’s back to Paihia where the tour ends. Our original plans for the Bay of Islands had been a Rock The Boat overnight tour, which would have involved night kayaking with phosphorescent sea life, sourcing and eating fresh seafood, sea fishing and multiple other cool things. That remains on our list for next time, but the half day tour we did instead was a more than acceptable Plan B activity, especially in view of the unexpected dolphins!