The one where we drive and drive and drive some more</strong>

8 January 2020 (day 36)

The dream is over! Today we have to say goodbye to Zanzibar, the best place in the world ever, to head back to the mainland and onwards on our journey through Africa.

Our ferry leaves at 9:30 from the seaport so it’s a pretty easy morning of extremely underwhelming breakfast and packing up before heading over. The port is only about 8mins walk from our hotel and Isaac is back to show us the route through the labyrinth of alleys. Again he fails completely to take account of the pace of a group laden with bags and races off, quickly losing us. Fortunately we know the way to the waterfront from the previous day so find our own route, also relocating Isaac, who seems baffled that he lost us, on the way.

The port is pretty busy and Sara loses her watch somewhere along the way. We’ve no idea if it came off when she was putting her bags through security or whether it was expertly taken off her wrist but however it happened it’s gone. Fortunately it was a £12 Lorus so it’s more of a nuisance than a financial loss.

We get to board the boat and are disappointed to find that this boat’s economy section is open air on the upper deck. It’s sticky and hot but on the plus side at least there’s shade and we have seats, having boarded first. Other passengers boarding behind us max out the seats and either stand or lie in the aisles and I’m very grateful not to have to do either.

Our return ferry, the Jewel of Zanzibar, docked in Stone Town

The crossing is uneventful and on the other side we relocate Steve and Pluto and meet the two new joiners to the truck, Sue and Colin from Essex (”but rural Essex, not Romford Essex”). They’ve done the first part of the trip, Nairobi to Zanzibar, before, coincidentally with Steve and Nash, and are now returning to complete the trip to Cape Town. Separately, Carlo has decided to leave the truck for a bit and will apparently return in Lusaka, Zambia, in about 10 days’ time. No one will miss him.

Everything packed back onto the truck, we set off on a long afternoon’s drive to Morogoro, stopping only at a mall for lunches, to pick up some food for the next few nights’ meals, and to get some Pizza Hut pizzas for tonight as we’ll arrive at the campsite too late to cook.

Along the drive we see sisal plantations lining the road, pass the Usumbura Mountains, and for the first time watch the sun set from the truck. The truck eventually pulls into the campsite, Simbamwenni, in the dark at around 20:00 and we’re all pretty tired from a long day of travel. We set up tents and eat our pizzas before an uncomfortably hot and humid night interrupted by an insect that sounds like squeaking metal and dogs barking.

9 January 2020 (day 37)

We drive and drive and drive, and when we think we can’t go on any longer, we drive some more.

We leave Simbanwenni at 7am, grouchy after a sticky night in the tent. The sun’s only just risen and we get to see how pretty the place is, so it’s a shame we aren’t really here long enough to enjoy it.

The drive is long in time, although not in distance, and the route takes us through the Mikumi National Park where we see two elephants, a handful of zebra, and a Maasai giraffe by the side of the road within a short space of time. We also pass through Baobab Valley where we see plenty of baobab trees, the ones with enormously thick trunks but slightly scraggly branches. The scenery is beautiful but we, like most of our fellow passengers, miss much of it as we snooze the day away.

The truck stops for lunch at a bustling rest stop but neither Sara nor I can face the food on offer. The trip we made to the ladies’ was memorable though. We arrive just after a local bus has pulled in and we join the end of the queue like good Brits. Of course, not being Britain, there’s actually no queue and we quickly realise that it’s a cut-throat, dog-eat-dog system here of elbowing your way to a specific cubical door and pushing in when the previous occupant vacates. When in Rome and all, we push our British sensibilities aside and other people out of the way and finally manage to procure a cubical.

Our campsite that night is The Old Farmhouse in Iringa, and as Sara’s unwell (and it’s a stupidly early start tomorrow) we decide to upgrade into a twin en suite room in the converted stables. It’s an excellent decision and the room is warm, dry and comfortable and Sara (and I) gets some much needed rest.

10 January 2020 (day 38)

We’re up at 3:15am as departure time is 5am and we’re on cooking duties. Clearly no one wants breakfast at 4am and most people make up sandwiches to eat at a more reasonable hour on the truck.

This morning Sara feels really very unwell and is in a lot of joint and muscle pain. Based on her symptoms, Nash thinks she should get checked for malaria and we’ll therefore take her to hospital tomorrow at the first available clinic. Because of her extreme discomfort, she has a strong desire for a specific type of seat on the truck, a set of two rather than a group of four, as she can curl up there and put her feet up on the ledge in front. There are only a few of these on the truck and they’re already taken, so I ask our fellow passengers if there’s any possibility of swapping with them so that Sara can be as comfortable as possible given the pain she’s in. I then genuinely lose faith in humanity and common decency as the first person tells me no because he won’t be comfortable elsewhere and the second doesn’t even let me explain why I’m asking the question before telling me they just won’t change seats (no reason given).

I’m disappointed and frustrated by other people’s lack of empathy for someone who’s very unwell and in pain, and that I can’t get Sara what she needs to minimise her discomfort. We end up in the front set of four and fortunately no one is opposite Sara so she can at least put her feet up which is better than nothing.

The day is very, very long. A few hours into the drive, we’re stopped by the police (not sure why) and then later by immigration officials who board our truck and check some passports to make sure we’re in the country legally, which is kind of funny for timing as we’re leaving today anyway.

We drive to just shy of the border with Malawi and stop for lunch (my final chips mayai!) before checking out of Tanzania and into Malawi. At the Malawi side of the border, immigration tell Nash they’ll speed up our visas if he greases some palms, which he doesn’t do, and accordingly we wait for 2-3hrs for our passports to come back. The irony of all of this is that there’s a poster directly in front of the immigration officials’ counter proclaiming that this is a zero corruption / no bribery zone. Apparently they missed the memo! It’s also worth noting that every country we’ve visited has had posters and billboards proclaiming no corruption and yet we saw our bus driver in Zanzibar pay off the police and other money changing hands along the way, so it’s not just Malawi where this continues to be a problem.

Now in Malawi with our full page visa and three stamps (!), it’s back on the road for multiple hours until we arrive at Chitimba Camp in Chitimba at 18:30. We upgrade again to give Sara as comfortable a night as possible and she goes to rest before dinner. We’re on cooking duty and with Sara unable to help, Emily, who’s suffering from tonsillitis and two twisted ankles herself, offers to help our team as we’re a person down. It’s such a generous and kind offer and I’m grateful to her for being willing to help us out. When I report to the cooking station to make dinner though, it’s not just Emily who’s turned out to help us, it’s also Trina and Melissa, who’re already well into chopping the garlic and onions. After the start to today where I was made to question my underlying belief that people are good and will help others when they’re in need, my faith is restored by the three women turning out to support after an extremely long and tiring day. A shout out also to the rest of our cooking team, Rich and Sam, who’re both completely supportive of Sara skipping cooking to rest, even although it would have meant more work for the three of us.

11 January 2020 (day 39)

We get a lie-in until 6:00am today - woo! We set off at 7:45am heading for Mzuzu to do some shopping. Sara continues to be unwell and it’s another unpleasant journey for her today. Also unpleasant is the return of my stomach bug, and the pair of us are pretty miserable on the truck this morning.

We get to Mzuzu mall just after 11 and learn this is where Sara will go to hospital to get checked out. As I’ve now been ill on and off for 12 days, I’ll also get some tests to check everything’s ok.

Nash gets some guys they usually use for the fruit and veg to find us a taxi and agree a fixed price fare for them to take us to the hospital, wait for us to be seen, and then bring us back to the truck. We take all the Malawian Kwacha we have as well as our credit card and set off for the clinic.

We’re both seen first by a nurse who takes our weight, blood pressure, resting heart rate, and temperature, and then wait to be seen by the doctor. Time ticks by as the queue moves slowly and the fruit and veg guy who’s come with us and the taxi driver asks how long we’ll be. We’ve obviously no idea and he tells us the driver wants to charge more for waiting time. I tell him no because we’ve agreed a fixed price and start planning for both a verbal fight later and also for a Plan B to get back to the truck if they just leave without us.

Eventually we’re seen by the doctor, who decides Sara should get checked for malaria and we should both get a full blood work-up and be tested for typhoid. A few blood tests later and back with the doctor, it’s confirmed that neither of us has typhoid (which we assumed would be the case as we were both vaccinated against it before coming to Africa) and, most importantly, Sara doesn’t have malaria! I could cry with relief. We do, however, both have stomach bugs and are given antibiotics for five days. We also can’t have alcohol with the antibiotics which means we can’t try any of the local beers in Malawi as we’re only here a few nights. Disappointing.

We head to the front desk to pay our bill and find Nash has come to the hospital to check how we’re getting on. This is serendipitous because when we get our bill, it’s for more kwacha than we have and they don’t take credit card, but luckily The Bank of Nash has plenty cash and lends us the shortfall. We also tell him about the taxi driver wanting more money for the wait time and he goes and sorts it out for us. His timing in arriving at the hospital is impeccable!

Back at the truck, a cheer goes up as we tell everyone that Sara doesn’t have malaria! After Sara and I do a quick round at the supermarket to get some food and snacks, it’s back on the road towards Kande Beach. En route, we stop at a handcrafts market at the side of the road. Each of the open fronted shops is manned by the artist who’s carved animals and figures from wood and stone, and the items on display are of really good quality and are very clearly handmade rather than Chinese imports.

An animal chess set and other hand carved items at the Malawian craft market we visited

Always keen to support, we end up buying a few things: the neck and head of a giraffe carved in teak; a wooden frame with four women carrying jars on their heads set within it; a yellow cartoon elephant carved in stone; a wall hanging on canvas-like material with the big five painted on it; a small lion carved in wood; and most randomly of all a Big Five Tea Party (With A Guest Giraffe), which is a carving of each of the big five animals (plus a giraffe) plus a seat for each of them to sit on, a table between them, and a cup for each of them to drink from. We also commission a magnet to be carved in the shape of Malawi from one of the stalls, as the guy there is already coming to Kande Beach tomorrow and can deliver it to us there. My favourite thing we’ve bought is the teak giraffe; Sara’s is the big five tea party.

The Big Five Tea Party set we bought from the Malawi local craft market

Purse now empty, it’s back into the truck and an hour later we arrive at Kande Beach where we’ll be for three whole nights! Sara and I upgrade again as it’s a good opportunity for us both to get some proper R&R and hopefully over our bugs. We empty Pluto of all of our possessions as we’re changing trucks to the newest in the fleet, Silverback, when we head off in a few days’ time. Silverback apparently has less storage space than Pluto which is concerning as we’ve accumulated quite a lot of stuff over the past 6 weeks (and were already heavily laden when we arrived). At least we have a couple of days to get organised and figure our stuff out now.

Our shiny new truck, Silverback, packed and ready to take us from Malawi to Zambia and onwards

I ask Nash what the local beers are like here and, fortune of fortune, there apparently isn’t any Malawian beer! In a wild stroke of luck, the only beer they really have here is Carlsberg, and our five days on antibiotics are therefore extremely conveniently timed.

On our return to our lovely bungalow with our bags, the padlock decides not to cooperate with the key so Michael from reception comes to help out and, after about an hour, manages to solve the problem by sawing off the old lock and replacing it with a new one. We fill the hour chatting with Michael who, in addition to working at Kande Beach, is a social worker who specialises in working with abused children and also is a supporter and advocate of equality for women. The Michael-of-all-trades is also an artist and we commission him to make our Malawian travel tree ornament (a wooden rectangle with “Malawi 2020” carved on one side and Michael’s favourite animal, an elephant, on the other).

Us with Michael, our padlock-sawing, wood-carving buddy!

Four long days of travel while unwell has taken it out of us both and we’re in bed before 21:00, absolutely wiped out but happy not to have anything to do for a couple of days and, more importantly, delighted that Sara is a malaria free zone!

12 January 2020 (day 40)

We have a gentle day of not doing much. Sara slept poorly as she was plagued with bouts of illness in the night. I slept better but wake still feeling drained.

We go to the campsite’s bar for lunch and I order the bean burrito. It’s so far removed from a Mexican burrito it’s unreal: it’s a chapati with a mix of beans, onion and peppers in a random sauce with chips on the side. Nice for what it is but my brain needs recalibration away from the idea of a burrito to enjoy it.

At the bar, I hear a Scottish accent and naturally get chatting to a middle aged but retired Scottish couple from Edinburgh. They work at the bar with the general manager (also Scottish and from Edinburgh!) and, in a random case of the small-worlds, we very quickly establish that their next door neighbour in Spain is my former PE teacher, Mr Main! Not an expected outcome from a few days in Malawi.

Later, for dinner, Nash has had a goat slaughtered and it’s barbecued in foil for the meat eaters, with some bean and aubergine burgers for the veggies. Ted has also made a fruit-in-chilli-sauce concoction for pudding but it’s way too hot for pretty much anyone to enjoy as a dessert.

We go to bed a little after 20:00 as we’re wiped out, and happily Sara’s night is an improvement on the night before. Hopefully the antibiotics are working.

13 January 2020 (day 41)

It’s Nashcakes day! Nash, supreme legend and all around hero, has made more pancakes for us which we scoff with merry abandon alongside some pineapple.

Sara’s feeling better than yesterday and managed a Nashcake but continues to be unwell, and the Scots at the bar suggest she ought to get checked again for malaria as all of her symptoms continue to be typical of the disease. They find us one of the staff, Kelly, to take us to the nearby hospital and he arrives within a matter of minutes, taking us a little by surprise. We scramble to get ready and, of course, Jeremiah from the roadside craft market picks this moment to show up with the magnet we commissioned two days ago for delivery yesterday. I hurriedly pay him the less than $3 we owe him for the magnet, and he passes the carving over. The carving itself is decent but the scratching of “Malawi 2020” in the wood is hilariously basic.

We then set off along the beach towards the hospital. Sara’s heart sinks when we find we need to wade through a small river estuary to reach the other side as there’s likely Bilharzia in the lake. More nausea and insomnia inducing de-worming pills for us. Yay.

We continue along the beach and up into a small village of mud huts with straw roofs mixed amongst some more solid looking structures. Just past the village is the hospital, a very solid red building, with a queue of three women already waiting. Kelly indicates that we should join the end of the line so we do and proceed to wait while the ladies ahead of us disappear one by one inside the building.

Eventually it’s Sara’s turn and the three of us troop inside to see the doctor. Sara explains her continuing and new symptoms and he decides she should be malaria tested (surprise surprise). This time though it’s a simple finger prick and 15 minute “instant” result tab which will tell if malaria is present or not. We wait with bated breath and are once again relieved that the test comes back negative.

The doctor decides that Sara should have a lot more antibiotics so will continue to take her current course together with a new six day course and adds some intravenous antibiotics in his office for good measure. If this doesn’t kill whatever ails Sara, we don’t know what will!

We head back along the beach and across Bilharzia Bay to the campsite where the Scots at the bar immediately ask if its malaria and we’re delighted to say no.

The rest of the day is gentle and passes without incident or much of interest happening. The lake and surrounding areas are beautiful and it’s a shame not to be able to take advantage of the activities on offer like horse riding in the lake, something Sara in particular had been looking forward to since well before we came to Africa. We’ll just have to come back instead!

14 January 2020 (day 42)

We leave at 5am today and it’s expected to be a long day with a 600km drive, shopping, and a border crossing.

We snooze through the morning and reach the border with Zambia just before lunchtime. The border crossing sign looks like the surrounding village made it rather than an official government sign and it’s a bit underwhelming.

The homemade looking border crossing between Malawi and Zambia

The crossing itself is actually one of the easiest so far, with no customs or emigration/immigration forms on either the Malawian or Zambian sides and no need to get our big bags out to be searched. Instead we just bundle all our passports and $50 visa fees together and hand them in to be processed and then wait. Around an hour later, all the passports are duly returned with new Zambian visa stamps present and correct and we’re good to go. Later Malawi, Oh Hi Zambia!

We drive to Chipata to do some shopping, at a Spar no less, and then head onwards to Croc Valley Camp in South Luangwa National Park for two nights. As Sara’s still recovering, we upgrade to an air-conditioned en-suite Safari tent. The tent is slightly ridiculous: it’s a normal canvas tent, full height, with two beautifully made up beds, bedside tables, a vanity table, fan, two umbrellas and an AC unit mounted at the back by a door which leads to a second room housing bunk beds (really only big enough for two kids) and then into the en suite which is unnecessarily but wonderfully gigantic.

Our mega-tent at Croc Valley campsite in South Luangwa, Zambia

We’re warned that this campsite is right on the edge of the National Park, and being on the edge of the river there will likely be hippo, buffalo and elephants around our tents in the night, and possibly also crocodiles, so to be careful. As always, they’ll move quietly and the only sounds you’ll hear will be chomping. Because our safari tent is right on the banks of the river and away from the main campsite, there are security escorts to and from our tent to make sure we’re safe if we encounter one of the large animals!

I’m feeling dehyrdrated and exhausted today and Sara’s not well either so we chill in our mega-tent for a while until dinner and then have a very early night to get as much sleep in as possible, both hoping to feel better tomorrow for our evening game drive in the park.