The one where the monkeys win</strong>

15 January 2020 (day 43)

We wake and by some miracle we both feel much better than yesterday. About half of our group have gone out on a morning’s game drive and aren’t due back until just after 10am. We’re on cooking duties so, lucky for us, it’s a late breakfast and we have a gentle early morning before making some eggs, beans, toast and fruit.

When the group returns, we learn they’ve seen African wild dogs (something those of us who didn’t go desperately want to see) and that there are only two packs in the park so it’s tricky to see them. Other than that, we didn’t miss anything; the group didn’t see any big cats nor aardvarks. The park is known for its abundance of leopards in particular so we’re hopeful of seeing some on our evening drive later.

After breakfast, Sara, Ryan, Melissa, Trina, and I go to play Skip-Bo and pass a few lovely hours. Over the game, Emily, Taylor and new Sue join for a few hands each. Ryan smashes all of us into oblivion which is wholly dissatisfying for the rest of us.

Sara and I then have to return to cooking, or more accurately chopping, duties as we won’t be back from the evening drive until 8pm at the earliest. Melissa selflessly helps by grating block after block of cheese while the rest of us chop vegetables for an hour and a quarter.

Chopping time is somewhat plagued by black-faced vervet monkeys drawn by the food. I’m alone in the cooking area (a structure with a grass roof and no walls) when one of the monkeys runs in and onto the chopping table. I know that to scare them off you make yourself big and loud, so I raise my arms above my head and run at it shouting “GAH” to frighten it away. Instead of being scared, it screeches and runs at me, and I jerk backwards, scared of having my face bitten off by a rabid monkey (Sara desperately wishes she had this on film). Monkeys 1 - humans nil. Meanwhile, the monkeys are also terrorising some of our group at the bar, and one mother with a baby on her back, apparently unfazed by the intrinsic motherly need to protect her baby from harm, jumps up on the table where Emily, Ryan and Taylor are sitting and steals Emily’s phone and biscuits (she manages to get her phone back luckily). Monkeys 2 - humans nil. Later, Rich takes a crate off the truck, sets it on the ground, and turns his back briefly to do something. In that short moment, another monkey runs up and grabs an entire loaf of bread, making off with it at great speed. Sam and some others try to chase it down to recover the bread but are unsuccessful. Monkeys 3 - humans nil.

We finish up shortly before the safari vehicles arrive and Emily coordinates so that she, Ryan, Taylor, Trina, Sara and I are together in one of the vehicles with our guide, Bota. Ngorogoro Crater Crew back together!

Our vehicle sets off first which is ideal and off we go, only to stop shortly after leaving the campsite to see two large bachelor elephants grazing on shrubbery by the sign pointing to the campsite.

Ellie selfie on the way to South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Onwards to the park. For the first couple of hours it’s still daylight and we see lots of impalas, bushbuck, crocodiles, elephants, baboons, a family of pumbas with five hoglets, hippos out of water (or “land blimps” as Sara now calls them), puku (a new kind of antelope only present in Zambia, Botswana and Namibia), guinea fowls, hornbills (more Zazus!), a male waterbuck (different markings than the type of waterbuck we’d seen previously), and a scraggly squirrel eating a sausage fruit.

Pumba cuteness overload! South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Zazu! A hornbill in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Of key note are the zebras which are a different species than those we’ve seen before: these ones are smaller, with more defined markings which extend all the way around the belly. One of the male zebras decides to try it on with one of the females and we’re once again witness to some wild animal lovin’.

After around two hours of driving and plenty of sightings, we head for a beautiful 500 year old baobab tree at the side of a lake full of bobbing hippos and stop for some refreshments as the sun sets. We’re out of the 4x4s and enjoy some overly sweet orange juice (my saliva glands nearly explode) and slightly sweetened egg muffins in the company of some elephants clearly unhappy with us being there (but who fortunately don’t charge us). The hippos too sound displeased with our presence and grunt loudly each time they surface, slowly and ominously moving across the water flora covered lake towards where we stand.

An elephant strolls by the 500 year old baobab tree in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Some of our group joining us for snacks past the baobab tree in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

A hippo keeping a close eye on us in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Sunset in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Back in the cars, we set off again, now in the dusk light, and within a matter of minutes, Bota stops the car. He turns round to face us, pauses, then dramatically announces “It is time for the night drive”. We’ll now be ignoring day animals in favour of nocturnal animals like lions, leopards, aardvarks, porcupines and others.

Bota’s colleague stands in the front seat and turns on a giant bright light and bursting with excitement we set off again with the light swinging from left to right to pick up the glowing eyes of animals in the darkness. The change in atmosphere is palpable and we feel much more vulnerable in the darkness in a car with no sides. We keep seeing what we think are glowing eyes only for them either to disappear or for it to become clear that it was fireflies and lightning bugs instead.

Over the course of the drive, we see land blimps, zebra, spotted hyena, antelope, elephants, scrub hare, crocodiles, and warthogs but alas no nocturnal animals other than a large spotted genet (a small wild cat, not an animal I’d heard of before) and a white tailed mongoose. We also saw two elephant shrews, which keen readers may recall are one of the Small Five, probably the first of the Small Five we’ve seen (unless, as previously speculated, the beetle that hit Emily in the face back at the Maasai camp, Maji Moto, was a rhinoceros beetle, and the tortoise I saw in the Maasai Mara was a leopard tortoise). Definite Small Five count: 1 of 5! Possible Small Five count: 3 of 5.

Night crocodile in South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

The lack of nocturnal animal sightings isn’t any kind of disappointment as the whole experience of driving in the park in the dark is so different than anything we’ve had before that we’re able just to enjoy the anticipation and experience.

We eventually return to the campsite and thank our guides for the wonderful evening. Everyone heads off to start cooking dinner and I head to the loo. On my way back, I pick up two green eyes at hip height maybe 20m away with my head torch. Green eyes belong to cats! “Does anyone have a bright light?” I yell into the darkness behind me and one of the staff appears immediately with a powerful torch. He lights up the area ahead of us but there’s now nothing there. “It’s probably gone into the next campsite” the staff member says casually and wanders off. There’s no way to know what cat it was but it could possibly have been a lion or leopard or something else entirely.

Excitement aside we make a dinner of chicken / bean fajitas which is well received and head to bed for another early night after an excellent day. However, when I climb into our safari tent, I immediately spot a giant black thing on the wall. About 8-9 inches long with dozens of legs, it’s a huge centipede or millipede weaving its way along the side of our tent. Sara yells for help (many centipedes and millipedes are poisonous) and one of the night watchmen comes quickly. He sees the whatever-ipede and flinches, then takes it out on an umbrella and kills it. “Was it poisonous?” I ask. “Yes poisonous” he says. Worrying. We thank him as he leaves and proceed to spend the entire night concerning about the potential for further giant poison-ipedes in the tent.

16 January 2020 (day 44)

It’s back on the road again and a fairly uneventful day as we drive from South Luangwa to Petauke, enjoying sites such as Captain Biggie’s General Dealers en route.

An excellently named local shop in Zambia

We arrive at our campsite, Chimwemwe Lodge in Petauke, pretty early and upgrade again, this time into a little thatched stand-alone room-building, as Sara’s feeling a fair bit better but not completely back to normal quite yet.

Our Chimwemwe Lodge upgrade in Petauke, Zambia

As we’re collecting our stuff to take to the room, someone spots a red and black beetle thing. I take a photo and ask the guy at reception if it’s poisonous. “Oh yes,” he tells me, “but don’t worry. The local children play with them and they almost never bite. Just don’t eat them.” It’s really very lucky he said that as I was naturally about to chow down.

Not for eating! Terrifying looking bug at Chimwemwe Lodge

For the first time in a while, the place has WiFi and everyone is excited to be able to catch up on comms and post some Instagram selfies etc. Or at least everyone’s excited until there’s a power cut which takes out the WiFi shortly after we arrive. Posting those selfies will just have to wait a few more days.

After dinner, Sara, Trina, Ryan, Taylor, Emily and I head to the main building to play some Skip-Bo while waiting for the excessive evening heat to fade. We’ve seen on the television about the impeachment proceedings in the US, and this sparks some discussion between Ryan, Taylor and me about US political process followed by Scottish / UK politics and independence attempts. When we realise the heat and humidity is not going to fade, we play one final hand, agree to pick up later on the politics, and head to bed (which luckily for us is in our upgrade which has a fan!).

17 January 2020 (day 45)

It’s a 7am breakfast today and the cook group goes to town, making rolex for the whole group. Impressive stuff.

It’s another driving day as we head to Lusaka, the capital of Zambia. On the way, we stop to get fresh fruit and vegetables for the coming days at a roadside market where everything on offer looks absolutely incredible.

Roadside fruit and veg market en route to Lusaka, Zambia

Shortly after, we enter the city and are impressed at how very developed and modern it is, as well as at the shops we recognise from home like Toys ‘R’ Us. When we stop, it’s at a mall and we’re delighted to find it has a Nando’s! Given it’s lunchtime, it seems rude not to try out the Zambian version and we’re pleased to find it tastes just like home other than that the peri peri seasoning for the chips is more in flake than salt form, and the chicken is saucier! Mmm sauce.

After lunch we do a spot of shopping for lunches, dry goods and drinks, and the highlight is spotting the knock off Oreos being sold alongside the real deal. Whoever came up with the name is a genius.

We head to Eureka Camp on the outskirts of the city, and we spot a giraffe ambling happily along just outside the campsite boundary.

Sara’s now feeling pretty good again so it’s back to camping for us. We set up our tent and then hang our not-yet-dry-from-the-night-before laundry on the volleyball net, that being the most obvious drying spot we, and others, could find.

Best washing line ever! Eureka Camp, Lusaka, Zambia

The remainder of the afternoon is spent preparing for the next couple of days aboard a houseboat on Lake Kariba and chilling.

Preparations. Notice how the women are doing the work and the men are sitting back and drinking?!

Chilling by the truck. Eureka Camp, Lusaka, Zambia

We’re expecting a new joiner to the truck, the very last one (unless someone signs up to join us in Victoria Falls), but he’s nowhere to be found and no one’s quite sure when he’s meeting us. It’s a very early start tomorrow so let’s hope he’s aware of that and hasn’t missed a flight or gotten lost!

The cook group again does a cracking job, putting together a really delicious Thai green curry. I do like me some Thai green curry! Maximum noms. After dinner, we hit the hay for an early night and are then kept awake by the noise from the bar which we’ve inadvertently pitched our tent a bit too close to. Sigh.

18 January 2020 (day 46)

We’re up for a 5am breakfast today and at last the newbie has arrived. His name is Oliver, he’s from Cambridge, and he arrived at the campsite at 3am so is feeling a bit tired after a long flight and lack of sleep.

We pack up and set off for the Zambia / Zimbabwe border which we reach mid morning. We pass through into Zimbabwe by crossing the dam built in the 50s to enable the creation of Lake Kariba, the largest human-made lake in the world, and head down to the banks of the lake to board our houseboat, home for the next two nights.

Damn, that’s a good looking dam! Photo credit: @meli444violet

Houseboat harbour, Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

We cart all of our bags, food, drinks, and miscellaneous other items down a hill with no discernible path and load everything onto the houseboat. The boat is awesome, with the lower deck having open air twin rooms for most of the group plus the kitchen, and the staff quarters, and the upper deck having a couple of triple bed rooms plus a large communal space split between a covered area and a completely open area with sun chairs and beds and a jacuzzi!

Our houseboat home for the next two nights. Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Once everything is loaded, we’re given a safety briefing and warned of the crocodiles and hippos in the lake, introduced to the 5 staff members, and advised of the plan for the next couple of days. And then we set sail (or more accurately, we set engine, given there are no sails) off across the water towards one of the faraway shores.

We enjoy a casual lunch and some free beer (free beer!!) while enjoying the views of the Zambian and Zimbabwean shores in the distance. Around halfway across the lake, the boat stops and the captain announces that there’s a cage for swimming if anyone is interested, which of course we are.

The cage is to protect us from potential hippos or, more likely, crocodiles, and the risk of bilharzia should be low because of being so far from the shore. We can, however, also swim outside the cage if we’re feeling brave / reckless. Everyone opts for the cage.

We’re enjoying the surprisingly warm water in the overpopulated cage for a while when all of a sudden there’s a huge SPLOSH from outside the cage and we see that Sam has jumped into the lake from the roof of the upper deck. This inspires the courage in others, including me and Sara, to do the same. We climb to the roof of the boat which is maybe three stories high. First Sara and then I jump in and it’s pretty exhilarating. I make sure to climb quickly back onto the boat to avoid any crocodiles curious about the sudden splashing!

Not satisfied with one jump, we decide to jump in again only this time together. The couple that jumps into croc-infested waters together stays together, isn’t that the saying?

The boat sets off across the lake again and a while later when we reach land we put down anchor and moor the boat to the shore. The captain announces that there will be a sunset game cruise for any interested parties and we head down to the lower deck and board one of two pontoons tethered to the houseboat.

Full pontoon ready for a sunset cruise on Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe. Photo credit: @meli444violet

With pretty much all of our group on board, we set off on the pontoon at a very gentle pace to explore the nearby area. We’re absolutely spoiled by the number of hippos we see both in the water and out, and we also see a few elephants, two adults and one young one, ambling across the land a short distance away from us on the lake.

Hippos clashing in Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Elephants on the banks of Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Because the lake is human-made, the tops of now dead trees rise out of the water around us which adds a certain eerieness to the evening, particularly as the sun begins to set.

Cool but creepy tree corpses in Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

A hippo peers at us as the sun sets, Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Throughout proceedings, the captain navigates the pontoon around trees and hippos alike. Once however we catch (presumably) a tree just under the water which can’t be seen from above. One side of the pontoon sinks into the water and we all scuttle hurriedly backwards to avoid being tipped in along with the crocs and hippos. Sue gets a proper fright as she’s sitting in a plastic chair at the edge of the sinking side of the pontoon and can’t move away quickly. Fortunately though she manages to stay onboard.

The sunset is a sight to behold. Lake Kariba is known for its spectacular sunsets and neither Sara nor I have ever seen any as incredible or colourful as we do tonight. The sky is painted with bold yellows, oranges and reds which only get richer and more colourful as the sun lowers in the sky.

We arrive back at the houseboat as the final colours begin to fade and find Nash has climbed onto the roof to welcome us back. His silhouette against the sky provides one of my favourite pictures of the night.

Nash against the sunset, Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Back on board the boat, the crew have prepared us a roast dinner with pork and crackling, beef, utterly delicious roast potatoes, squash, pumpkin, carrots and garlic bread. I can’t state emphatically enough how good the food they’ve prepared for us is.

After dinner, Sara, Trina, Jan, Ryan, Taylor, new Oli and I (predictability) play some hands of Skip-Bo and we’re last to go to bed at around 11pm.

19 January 2020 (day 47)

We’re rudely awoken this morning at 6am by the sounds of the crew vigorously cleaning the boat. I’m grateful to be getting up to a cleaned and tidied boat but not so much to the unexpectedly early noise.

Excited for another day on our houseboat in Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Breakfast is French toast, again made for us by the multi-talented crew, and it’s delicious. There’s then the option of a morning game cruise on the pontoon which we decide to do but a number of our group decide against. The pontoon is therefore a lot less populated than last night which makes viewings on all sides much easier.

We pootle slowly across to a different side of the lake than last night and again are gifted with sightings of many, many hippos peering at us from the water as we go. We also sit for a while watching two bachelor elephants close to the water’s edge as they slowly eat their way across the land. Other than elephants and hippos, we see some ibis and other birds but no big cats as we’d hoped. All in all, it’s a lovely and relaxing way to spend a morning.

Elephant on the shore of Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe. Photo credit: @meli444violet

Back at the boat, we lift anchor and set off for another shore on the lake. As had happened yesterday, when we’re partway across the lake, the captain stops the boat and announces that anyone who wishes to swim in (or out) of the cage can now do so. We decide against today and instead watch some of the others jumping off the roof into the water.

When we moor at the next shore, there’s another evening pontoon game cruise, and even fewer people are interested this time. We, of course, go, and once more see all the hippos we could wish to as well as the second most amazing sunset either of us has ever seen, this time with pinks, yellows and blues.

Snap happy tourists, Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe

Back at the boat, the crew have whipped up burgers and veggie burgers, white and sweet potato chips, and salad, and again it’s a roaring success. However, the main problem tonight is that we’re plagued by tens of thousands of lake flies. They’re entirely un-bitey creatures but they cover the ceilings, chairs, fridges and any other light coloured surface, and worse still they keep dropping into the food and drinks which makes both unpalatable. We had quite a lot of the flies yesterday evening too but nothing like tonight, possibly because it rained last night which potentially may have reduced their numbers.

We opt for an early night, primarily to escape the bugs. Others in the group, however, decide tonight’s the night for a party as it’s Luke’s 24th birthday tomorrow. They proceed to drink, play loud music, shout and bang until 1am, despite being asked to keep it down, and 15 people in the group, plus the crew, are effectively held hostage by their racket as there’s nowhere to go to escape it and no means of drowning out the noise on an open air and open sided boat.

20 January 2020 (day 48)

We’re rudely awoken this morning at 7am by more shouting, this time from one of the group who, irate at being kept awake last night, decides to take revenge by shout-quoting one of last night’s party boys and throwing water over him as he sleeps.

It’s a pretty grumpy group today, with last night’s party-ers tired and hungover and most of the rest of the group tired and annoyed at having been kept awake.

Breakfast is frittata, which Nash astutely points out is basically Spanish chips mayai. Again it’s delicious and I can’t praise highly enough the chef and crew on the boat for taking our “here’s some ingredients and a few basic instructions - make us nice food” requests and knocking it out of the park every time.

We set off back across the lake towards where the truck should be waiting to collect us and nobody is interested in a swim this morning (because of the afore-mentioned tiredness / hangovers / seething). We arrive back at our start point, unload everything from the houseboat, and cart it back up the hill with no discernible path to reload onto the truck.

We drive to Chinoyi Camp, stopping off for groceries on the way, and find ourselves at a fairly basic campsite. Nash explains that there are armed guards on the site to protect us so not to be alarmed if we see them. He then makes the guards seem immediately less threatening by telling us we’ll recognise them because “they’ll have an AK-47 and be wearing a onesie”. Images of guards in brightly coloured onesies featuring cartoon characters abound in our heads.

We’re on cooking duties tonight and make a surprisingly good curry. I say surprisingly good because the shops were deficient in many of the ingredients we’d normally want, and the chicken when Rich opened it smelled off so we binned it. The meal was therefore a pick-n-mix of random tinned foods we have in store on the truck (many of which wouldn’t ordinarily be found in a curry) plus some vegetables we were able to get in the shop like butternut squash and peppers.

After dinner, pretty much the whole group goes to bed (or to the WiFi by reception) early, and Sara and I are towards the last to disappear for the night. We take our wash bags to the ladies’ and as we enter we spot a pair of shoes we think we recognise outside of one of the shower cubicles. “Jim, are you in here?” we enquire, and yes, Jim has accidentally entered the ladies bathrooms. He offers to relocate to the men’s (which is on the other side of the building) but we both think it’s pretty funny and we’re only brushing our teeth so are happy for him to finish off where he is. I suspect though that he may check the signs a little more carefully in future campsites!

21 January 2020 (day 49)

We’re up today at an entirely reasonable time which makes a nice change! After breakfast, we head to the ladies’ to brush our teeth and, now a typical feature of our African adventure, are treated to the sight of some mating baboons a few metres away.

We drive to Gweru for some shopping and it’s surprisingly cold! While many in our group go to do some grocery shopping, Sara and I go with Nash to get five Zimbabwean SIM cards, the maximum number Nash can get on his ID at one time. One’s for us and there are four others up for grabs by the rest of the group. We want to try to get some credit on our new sim straight away so walk a few blocks to Econet’s store, but we’re disappointed to find a long queue when we enter of people waiting to top up their phones. A helpful security guard accelerates us to the front of the line as we need to get back to the truck, but the data packages turn out to be poor value for money and we decide against for now. The number of people in line in the middle of the day though is surprising to us, and we’ve seen similarly long queues outside banks and other financial institutions. We later learn that Zimbabwe is currently experiencing 90% unemployment rates which shocks and saddens us. We’d known that the country’s economy is a bit of a disaster at the moment but had no idea of the impact on normal citizens, many of whom have no jobs and struggle to make ends meet.

Back in the truck, we head to Masvingo and arrive at around 3pm. We’re dropped off at the entrance to the Great Zimbabwe ruins which is a UNESCO world heritage site and are introduced to our guide for the afternoon. He explains that Zimbabwe means “very big house of stone”, and that Great Zimbabwe was constructed by the Shona in the 11th century and inhabited by up to 25,000 people until the 15th century when it was abandoned.

We’re first taken to the site’s museum where we see artefacts recovered from the ruins such as tools, bowls and pots, as well as glass beads from China and Persia together with other international imports which show that important people from all over the world visited Great Zimbabwe, bringing gifts for the king with them. The museum also displays the eight Zimbabwe birds carved from soapstone which previously sat on plinths the height of a person in the city. One of these birds is now the symbol of Zimbabwe and features on the country’s flag. We’re prevented from taking photos inside the museum so unfortunately don’t have any of the birds to include here.

From the museum, we walk to the great enclosure, an inner wall encircling a series of structures, and an outer wall, and are awed by the scale and craftsmanship. The walls are constructed without mortar but remain in really good condition in many places, up to 6m thick at the bottom but thinning towards the top for strength and stability. The walls are also up to 32 feet high in places so pretty impressive. Within the great enclosure is a conical tower constructed between the two walls, the purpose of which is subject of much debate between archaeologists and historians.

Entrance to the great enclosure, Great Zimbabwe Ruins

Impressive and mysterious conical tower, Great Zimbabwe Ruins

From the great enclosure we head through the valley ruins and eastern enclosure to the Shona village where there’s a local craftsman selling his wood and soap stone carvings and we fall in love with everything! We moderate our urges and buy only a carving of the Zimbabwe bird from the country’s flag plus a modern style carved elephant and a small hanging version of the bird for our travel tree.

Our souvenirs, Shona village, Great Zimbabwe Ruins

On into the village itself and we’re treated to a musical performance by some local Shona. Our guide joins in and plays the horn; not a brass horn mind - we’re in Africa and I’m talking the undulating horn of some local animal I’d assume comes from the antelope family.

Continuing on, we head to the hill complex and take the ancient ascent to the top where we find some more impressive ruins which were where the king stayed and where important business was conducted. From there we watch the beginnings of the sunset before heading back down the modern ascent (technically descent in our case) in the last of the evening light.

Climbing up the ancient ascent, Great Zimbabwe Ruins

Sunset walk down the modern ascent, Great Zimbabwe Ruins

In all our time at the ruins, we’re the only tourists and have the run of the place to ourselves. There are no barriers or ropes anywhere and we have completely unfettered access to the ruins. It’s been an incredible experience and, although selfishly it’s wonderful to be the only people there, it’s a sad reminder that Zimbabwe is currently seen as somewhere to avoid because of recent political and current economic woes. Our experience of the country so far is entirely positive and there’s no question we’ll come back again in future.

We walk to the campsite, Zim Camp, which is just outside the grounds of the ruins and set up camp. The campsite is very basic with no electricity or running water, but it’s a good night nonetheless. Dinner is chilli which is made all the better by the addition of Doritos, and we discover Tall Horse Cabernet Sauvignon, a bottle of wine we’d bought for the houseboats but hadn’t drunk, is delicious! We’ll be looking out for that one again.